WHY do we people-please?
WHY do we people please? Because we love other people and we are hard-wired, as humans, for connection. We want to be in community, with family and friends. We are social beings and so what other people think of us is of most importance. Being liked and fitting in, is so important! Because if we don't, then way back when, if we weren't apart of a group or community, staying ALIVE become pretty damn hard. Think about it right, we would have to fend off danger, forage for food, sleep, take care of ourselves solely.
Nowadays, fitting in, being liked and loved is important. It's one of our most primal needs - to be loved. But let's fast forward some years to the 2020 where we have access to water, food, shelter, we can work for money, we have transport... we have all our basic needs met and yet WE STILL WANT EVERYONE TO LIKE US AND FIT IN AND PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND US.
If you've heard me talk about this topic before, then you'll know that I also preface this work by saying - loving, giving and being of service to others is one of the kindest gifts. It's a beautiful thing. BUT when I talk about people-pleasing, I mean pleasing other people at your OWN expense. Now that's where we’ve got to draw the line, right? When your helpfulness is at your own expense. When you say yes but you actually mean no. When you're exhausted but you still say yes to someone else. When you're at burn out. When you're own health and happiness is being affected. AND when your people-pleasing has actually made you feel RESENTFUL. That's one of the biggest signs and perhaps towards the endpoint where somewhere you've got to say, 'enough is enough'.
If you haven't already, make sure you download my FREE ebook - How to Stop People Pleasing. It's a practical workbook to help you reduce your people-pleasing once and for all. It's a game-changer!!